Chasing Shadows
by Yuukinosaku
Summary: When Demyx realizes he's not the only one with bad habits.... Rated M for self-injury, lemon, and cursing.
1. Chapter 1

Chasing Shadows: A Kingdom Hearts AU

Pairing: Zemyx

Warning: Probably extremely OOC, Trigger warnings: Self Harm, Drug Use, and Cheating.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

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Zexion woke up to the buzzing of his cell phone beside his head. He was alone, and lacked the warm body that had been with him the night previous. Lucky for him he had only recieved a text message, and no one was imminently trying to speak to him. He ran hsi fingers through his matted hair, and let his tired eye adjust to the neutral light in his room, before taking his phone from it's resting place. Like clockwork he opened up the text message. Who else would it be from than his boyfriend?

_Zexion, Sorry I left. She called me around One Thirty._

Zexion felt bile rising up his throat. Did Demyx really find the need to tell him about _her? _The woman that was keeping the only good thing in his life? The only person Zexion could keep himself smiling for. He remembered very specifically Demyx saying he wanted to experiment, to see what a hetero relationship was like. Zexion frowned, his face dark with distaste. Quickly expression left him. He resolved to make himself numb again after telling Demyx what he always did.

_Whatever._

He tossed his phone down onto his bed, and stood slowly, his joints aching as he put pressure on them after a perfectly relaxed night. Zexion walked slowly into his bathroom. Was this really the only way? Yes, and Zexion liked it staying that way. He opened the cabinet, and looked at the two things keeping him sane. The bottle of Oxycontin, and Vicodin, the Xanax, the assortment of pills he kept, along with the razor he could use to pacify himself if he lost it. He smiled lightly, chosing upon Vicodin. He took three of the pills, and stepped out of his bathroom. He saw his phone light up.

_You're not mad at me, are you Zexy?_

Zexion couldn't stifle the bitter laugh he let out. He typed off his hardest answer.

_Demyx, you don't want the answer to that particular question. Please, don't talk to me right now._

the response was almost immediate.

_Zexy you aren't using again, are you?_

Demyx knew Zexion was still doing the pills, why would he even ask? Zexion felt anger bubbling in the pit of his stomach. He threw his phone onto his pillow and walked briskly across the room. He didn't bother answering. He didn't want to overdose or take another trip to the hospital and worry about what they might find in his blood while they try to save him. It had happened once before. Demyx looked at him like he was shocked it happened.

Zexion stepped out of his room after dressing himself as usual. He wore short sleeves, a plain black tee shirt. He was not afraid for people to see the few scars he did have. As well, he wore normal black jeans. If anything they were a little to big, so they were roomy, and he was very comfortable in them. He wore dark colors because he liked them. It was not a fashion statement, he liked that black absorbs light. It got warm and considering he had very poor circulation, warm was good.

He did not retrieve his phone. He planned on not talking to Demyx for as long as possible. But after a few hours of reading, curled up on the couch, waiting for his room mate to get home from work, ignoring Demyx no longer worked. There was a knock at the door of Zexion's apartment and he sighed. He opened the door and saw his dirty blond boyfriend. "Zexion oh my god, are you ok? Why haven't you been answering my texts?" his voice was an octave above it's normal tone. Zexion felt a bit bad for ignoring him, but then he remembered it- Demyx was cheating on him.

"I'm sorry, I was previously engaged." his voice was monotone, and Demyx was very much aware that when Zexion was like this, Demyx had pissed him off. This was high Zexion, Zexion who did not feel, Zexion who did not care. _"Much like you, because of course, That girlfriend of yours means a lot more to you than I mean to you." _Zexion thought, bitter. "I do like to spend time alone sometimes, you don't always need to worry so."

"Oh, good, because I was on my way to a date with-" and Zexion stopped listening. He didn't care, he didn't want to learn her name, he didn't want to know what Demyx was going to do with her. "And, we're going to go-" and Zexion regretted starting to listen again. He just didn't have the heart to tell Demyx how little he cared, how angry he was with Demyx. "And she really likes to lean up against me and-" Zexion felt nausea bubbling in his stomach, he was furious and he felt his eyebrow twitch. "So, um, I was wondering if tonight since we don't see much of eachother anymore-" _who's fault was that? _"- if we could go out to eat or something. You me and-" and that was where Zexion drew the line.

"No."

"Why?"

"I refuse to be around her."

Demyx frowned. He was upset that Zexion of all people didn't like her. Zexion who accepted everyone, not nessicarily liked everyone, but generally accepted them. "Oh... well, maybe we can go alone? Just you and me?" Zexion was too angry at the moment to say yes, but he knew he should.

"Fine."

Then he closed the door. Demyx knocked again "Zexion! What's wrong?" and Zexion locked it. "Please tell me why you're so angry!" and Zexion paused, he chuckled and turned on his heel, walking to his room. He needed to be away from this. Demyx was infuriating him. He should know not to speak of her to him. Not at all. He was angry. Very, Very angry. He sat down at his desk in his room, and began to read again. At least, in a book, no one could personally betray him. No one could make sure he felt like a toy, to be used and tossed aside.

He looked up again, and it was 5:30. He heard his phone buzzing frantically. He stood and picked it up. Demyx was calling him. He answered. "What, Demyx." he was still unhappy.

"Ok so i wanted to tell you about my da-"

Zexion held his phone away from his head until he heard Demyx pause.

"Zexy?" his voice was worried. "Are you listening?"

Zexion sighed "No. I didn't plan on it." he 'forgot' to mention that he wanted nothing more than to find her, and slit her throat. But no, her murder would not even begin to make up for what Demyx had put him through. it would not be proper retribution. Not at all.

"Zexy, why do you hate her?"

Zexion laughed. "Why do I hate her. You really just asked me that question? Are you honestly unable to tell?" he was laughing cruelly, this was a joke, it had to be a joke.

"No, I seriously don't understand..." Demyx sounded hurt.

"Think about it, call me when you want to pick me up for our date, unless she's too important for you to think about me, _your boyfriend_ for once." and he hung up, not allowing Demyx to reply. His phone buzzed again around 7, and he answered the call "Zexion, I'm at your door, come on it's time to go." and Demyx hung up. Zexion stood up, spraying himself with deoderant before grabbing his keys and stepping out of his apartment, seeing Demyx leaned up against the nearest wall, running shaky fingers through his hair.

They walked quietly down the few flights of stairs to Demyx's car. Finally when they sat down, Demyx looked over at Zexion and asked him quietly "You're not going to leave me, are you?" and Zexion laughed softly.

"Demyx, can we not talk about this? No, I'm not leaving you." he sighed, looking irate. "Please don't ruin the first date we've gone on in three months." The exact amount of time Demyx had been 'experimenting' with that girl.

Demyx nodded and sighed. He drove them to the restaurant they always went to, it was japanese, and Demyx knew that Zexion loved the soup and rice, his meals were always light, so this was an ideal place for him. They were quiet until they ordered, and Demyx sighed. "Zexy, are you mad at me?"

"Demyx, I already told you, you don't want to hear my answer. You want to hear 'no, everything is fine. I am perfectly happy'. But I won't tell you that, so I refuse to give you that answer, at least until you understand." his voice was just as monotone as usual, he didn't want Demyx to hear his anger.

"Ok, Zexion..." he muttered softly. They ate quietly, and They kissed only once, and Demyx thought he felt Zexion shed a tear while they kissed but Zexion pulled back so fast that his lilac hair covered his cheek before he could investigate.

He took Zexion home, and they kissed again. "Goodnight, Demyx." Zexion sighed before stepping into his apartment, and closing the door before Demyx could say anything to him. Roxas looked up from where he sat in a chair, curled up, texting.

"Oh hey, Zexion!" he was always happy. At least Roxas had a faithful lover.

"Hey Roxas... I'm not feeling very well, so if I don't talk to you much tonight... that's why." he smiled lightly. Roxas frowned and nodded, understanding that Zexion's relationship was complicated and painful, and that Zexion hated to allow others to see said pain.

Zexion walked to his room, and laid in bed, falling asleep uneasily. He slept very fitfully, and the times when he woke up, he shook, and held onto his stomach, waiting for the emotional nausea to subside. Zexion was completely broken, but he refused to let anyone know that. Not even Demyx.


	2. Chapter 2

Chasing Shadows: A Kingdom Hearts AU

Pairing: Zemyx

Warning: Probably extremely OOC, Trigger warnings: Self Harm, Drug Use, and Cheating.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

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When Zexion woke up, he felt just as sick as he had when he went to sleep. He sighed and sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands, and cried quietly for only a few minutes. It took those few minutes fo his phone to buzz, Demyx texting him. He sighed and looked at the text.

_Zexy, do you hate Lori _- so that was her name- _because I'm spending so much time with her? Or it it maybe because you're jealous? Zexy please just tell me...!_

Zexion did not take the time to reply. He didn't want to get into this with him, that was the absolute last thing he wanted to talk about. He stepped into his bathroom. HE decided on Vicodin again, and took a few of the pills. He sighed and stepped back out of his bathroom, and dressed similarly to yesterday.

He stepped out into his living room, and sat the same way he had on his bed a minute ago. He shivered, he felt so sick today, maybe it was the fact that he was scared to tell Demyx he hated his girlfriend because he considered it cheating. To him their relationship felt doomed and over. He shivered. Roxas sat by him, Zexion was not aware of how early it was. Nor was he aware that today Roxas was working 7 to 3. "Zexion, are you ok?" Zexion only shook his head. "Is it Demyx, again?" He rubbed Zexion's back.

"Yeah, it is..." Zexion murmured, rubbing his temples, shaking ever so slightly.

"Zexion, please don't tell me you really still love him... That would make me sad, he's horrible to you..." he whispered to his friend. Zexion sat up straight and closed his eyes. "He cheats on you and finds every reason it's ok... You really need to leave him... I hate seeing you so hurt... Axel and I would gladly let you be with us for a while to show you what it's like to be loved by someone that doesn't care if they hurt you or not."

Zexion sighed "No, I can't just leave him like that... He's just trying things, I mean... he'll stop soon enough right?" His voice was smaller than normal. Roxas was fully aware that Zexion hated talking to people like this, hated letting people in. He had stopped talking to him like this exactly two years ago. He had stopped talking about feelings to anyone, it was hard even for Demyx to read him, and he was dating him.

No one really knew why Zexion shut himself in so suddenly. He had gone to visit his family and come back unable to tell anyone anything about it. Roxas always asked why, and Zexion just shook his head no, and lef the conversation. Zexion Lockharte had problems and no one knew what they were.

Roxas did know, however, that it involved his dad. Zexion had murmured "father" in his sleep a lot since then, and that was what perplexed Roxas. Zexion stepped away from his best friend and smiled "Have a good day at work." and stepped back into his phone, and looked at his cell phone.

_Zexion, please tell me you're ok. I know you're up! Please, just tell me if that's why you're mad._

Zexion knew that Demyx was desperate as he looked at his phone. He knew that his boyfriend was finally starting to catch on. But Zexion couldn't give him the answer this easy. Problems didn't just solve themselves that easy. Demyx had to actually understand why it was so painful, Demyx had to understand that Zexion ached inside, felt sick to his stomach, and could hardly think straight, every single time Zexion mentioned that girl.

Every time the literati read anything about her from his boyfriend, rage filled him, pain filled him, his heart ached completely. But Zexion did his best to stop feeling altogether. He tried but he couldn't. He took drugs and it only numbed him for a while. He slit his wrists and it only stopped for a while. Nothing worked, there was always pain and he couldn't escape it. Zexion still loved Demyx, as well, which made it even harder to stop feeling.

So he tried to read, tried to sleep more, tried to ignore things. But Demyx was still with him, he still loved him, and he still cared. Zexion finally formulated an answer.

_Demyx, I need you to do something for me. Look at the conversation we had when you first told me about all of this. What did i plead you not to do, what did I say it would do to me?_

He waited for a while, naturally taking the most recent book he had begun to read off of a shelf by his desk. He looked away from it after a while, and looked. Still no text from Demyx. His chest began to get tight. He read for another ten minutes, and looked back to his phone desperately. He was trembling now, there was still no reply. Why couldn't he relax? Why was his stomach aching, why was he so terrified?

Finally after half an hour, Demyx told him this:

_Zexion, I really know you didn't want me to do this but I'm enjoying it. I love you, a lot, but she's fun to spend time with. I know it hurts you, but I don't understand why you don't just come with! I mean, yeah, I kiss her, we cuddle, but still that doesn't mean I love you any less! I know I should leave her but I'm scared you'll stay like this. I'm scared I'll feel trapped again._

And Zexion had never been more hurt. This was his Prince Charming, making it sound like Zexion was the bad guy for not liking being cheated on. Then the second text came.

_Besides, I'm just experimenting, It doesn't mean anything, being with her, I mean._

Zexion shook his head in disbelief. He texted Demyx back, ready to put his head down and cry.

_Demyx that doesn't make it okay to cheat on me. And, if my trauma, and issues make you feel 'trapped' why did you stay with me, why didn'y you go find someone home and leave boring, mental, zexion behind. I love you too but you have no idea how hurtful that was._

He set his head down on his arms, and after another half an hour, Demyx simply called him, his voice was tearful, too.

"Zexy, what? I never said any of that! I just... always felt like I was useless, that's what i meant by trapped! I could never ever do anything to help you because you were never willing to tell me what was wrong... I love you so so much, but being able to not stress myself out worrying my head off because you've been so depressed for two years is a nice change, and I realize I've had my priorites wrong but god, Zexion..." he was babbling, and Zexion knew that Demyx was the one hankering after a quick redemption, but Zexion was the one that needed to be redeemed, or, in his own eyes that was how it was.

"Demyx, calm down..." he couldn't bring himself to talk much "The thought of what happened... still upsets me, a lot. I don't like talking about it, and I don't like to talk about problems, because all I want it to see the people around me happy, like you." he whispered.

"It doesn't make me happy to never know why you're upset!" Demyx sighed.

"I'm not ready to tell you, I'm sorry." Zexion's voice was getting quieter, and quieter.

"I'm... I'm coming over." and a click. Zexion trembled. He was by no means ready to see Demyx. Not in the least. He had just tried to justify cheating on him, that part? That was awful. Though Demyx did have some sincere intentions, there was still a pit in his stomach and he could hardly handle the anxiety, the stress... Sometimes Zexion wished he knew how to shut the world out to he could relax. He walked out into his living room, looking at the time. It was 8:39, and Zexion sat down, feeling like his stomach was going to fall out of his mouth any moment.

When Demyx knocked on his door softly, he answered after a few moments of trembling against the door. Though now, he didn't hide it, he was hurting, his heart ached and he could feel his heart beat in his stomach and throat. Demyx pulled Zexion into his arms, but when Zexion only trembled harder, Demyx let go of him carefully. "Zexy, are you ok?"

Zexion gave Demyx a hard look in the eyes, his own red and full of tears. "You just tried to tell me it's ok to cheat on me because my P.T.S.D stresses you out!" he sobbed angrily. "You tried to tell me that it wasn't meaningful but you spend 60 percent of your time with her! You kiss her, you told me, you hold her, you... you told me! How are you not cheating if you'll do any of the things for her that you stopped doing for me the moment you met her!" Zexion was hysterical, and Demyx was starting at him, suddenly, feeling his stomach dropping.

"Zexion no, that's not what it is at all!" he muttered softly.

"Oh? Then what is it?" Zexion sobbed.

"Zexion..."

"Tell me, how is it ok to make sure I know you think our relationship is open?" he sobbed. "Do you think I am _happy _sharing you with someone?"

and Demyx felt all of the guilt in the world, seeing Zexion's heart ripping in half in front of him.

Zexion shook his head. "If you want me to stay with you, there are two things you need to do right now. You need to answer a question of mine... and then you need to call that girl and tell her it's all over for her. You need to tell her that you were and still are committed and you will reiterate to her what you said to me. That she means nothing to you."

Demyx was dumbstruck, but he nodded anyway.

"The question... Is, Demyx... Tell me , how far, exactly, have you been with this girl. That very obviously, means more to you, than I do." his voice was the same as ever, but Demyx knew his answer would kill Zexion.

"We've... I had sex with her once, but we were both... drunk, and..."

Zexion looked furious.

"Now call her." his voice was filled with venom.

Demyx did as he was told, and pulled his cell phone from his pocket. He dialed the familiar number, and waited. It rang one, two, three times. Then she answered. "Hello Demyx?" her voice was cheerful, expecting to be asked out somewhere.

"Lori, I have a few things I need to tell you, ok?" his voice was serious, and even the girl he spoke to understood that.

"Demyx, is something wrong?" her voice was concerned, and she was scared.

"Listen, ok? Don't say a word until I'm done or I'll forget and have to start over." he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "For the past... maybe five years... I've been dating this guy. I was stressed out because he's got P.T.S.D from something he won't tell me about. Our whole relationship was based on me needing to feel useful, and I never felt anything for you. I know I said I cared, that I loved you. But all of it was a lie, you were nothing to me." Demyx knew that was how Zexion wanted it to be said, so that was exactly how he said it. "His love is far more important to me than your happiness. Anything you say right now really won't affect my decision. It's over, Lori. In fact, it never was."

The girl on the other end was sobbing, and Demyx put it on speaker, knowing that Zexion wasn't usuall cruel, but he had been through torment and wanted to hear that his torment had been reciprocated. "Demyx, what... Are you kidding me? You have to be joking! This just has to be some sick joke...!" her voice was desperate, and Zexion took the phone.

"No, it isn't a joke. I'm the boyfriend he mentioned to you. I finally got tired of his little experiment. You know that's all you were, right? An experiment, to test what a relationship with the opposite sex was like. It was never anything important, though he did waste a lot of time with you." he gave her no pity. "Never attempt to speak to him again." and he closed the phone, hanging up on the sobbing girl.

Demyx looked pained, his sea green eyes filled with guilt. "Are you happy now, Zexy? You broke the heart of someone you don't even know." he was just masking his own pain, he had at least wanted to be friends with Lori.

"Are you happy, yet, Demyx? You've been tearing me to pieces for months, and you just told me that you two had sex, and... yet we've been together for years and I'm a virgin. P.T.S.D doesn't mean sex repellant, Demyx. I... You really don't consider other's feelings, do you?"

"Well you don't either, Zexy..." Demyx sighed, pulling his boyfriend into his arms. "But you're probably high, so I can't blame you. I can blame myself because I pushed you that far." he shook.

It took a week to get back to normal from there. The day when Zexion woke up to a text that finally made it all feel ok again, was when he started to live again.

_Hey, Zexion. Morning. You'll get this maybe at like 8, when you get up. I snuck in last night but I didn't want to wake you up or anything, so I crashed on the couch. Love you, Dem._

Zexion stepped out of his room after dressing, and surely enough he found his boyfriend on the couch. He smiled, and carefully went out to him, pressing a kiss to his lips, and smiling. "Demyx, hey?"

Demyx's eyes opened, and he smiled back "Morning, Zexy. So, uh, I wanted to take you to go meet with my parents for the holiday." Zexion realized that it indeed was mid December, and he still had yet to buy Demyx a Christmas present. It was a tradition for them to get eachother sweet little presents each year. Maybe he was just distracted by the Lori Debauchle.

"Sounds great... When are we going to leave?" Zexion smiled.

"Three days."

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A/N: I know this is my third re-write of Chasing Shadows, and I'm sorry about that! I love this fanfiction so much, it's my baby, so I want it to be great! I appreciate reviews, and I'll be active for another month and a half, but then School, so I won't update as fast as I do. I'd like to say one or two chapters a day, but I can't promise I won't do something and miss a day. c: please, though, enjoy!


	3. Chapter 3

Chasing Shadows, a Zemyx fanfiction.

A/n: This is a re-write of my old fanfiction, unless specified in the Authors Notes, you are reading an old chapter, because I will not be deleting the chapters, I will simply be replacing them.

Disclaimer: I by no means own kingdom hearts. This plot line was thought of by me and my inactive friend on DeviantArt- BloodRosesAreRed, I miss her dearly and this is dedicated to her.

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Zexion went to sleep that night with an unknown despair in his heart, he wasn't sure what was bothering him, but his stomach ached and he was afraid of the next day's coming. He was always afraid. He grabbed his phone from his night stand and looked at it. He had one text message from a group of numbers, he recognized them as Demyx's number, the one he had deleted from his phone in a fit of anger. He opened the text, it had been sent only a few minutes before. "Zexion, I need you to meet me at the cafe, you know, the one we always go to?" Zexion nodded as if the text could see him. He stood up and slowly walked over to his dresser, and drew out a pair of black skinny jeans, and a white button up shirt. Then, across the room, his phone vibrated madly. Demyx was calling. Zexion grabbed his phone once his shirt was on "Hello?" and Demyx let out a sigh of relief on the other end "Zexion, Lori's actually not gonna kill me, she wants to talk to both of us, I explained to her about us, and she's... well, you'll find out. She really just wants to see what will work out... She's being sincere, I can tell.." he muttered quickly. "Ok, Demyx. I'll be right there."

Demyx hung up after saying his "Good bye, I love you." and looked at Lori, distressed. She had a look of frustration and anger on her face. "I still can't believe you. I can never be angry at Zexion for this, the poor thing just wanted love, but you, Demyx.." her voice was fierce and it made Demyx feel even worse. Zexion did arrive after a few minutes, and sat down across from them at their table. "What do you want to talk about...?" he inquired, looking concerned. "Zexion. I understand that you would want to be with him, I always knew you loved him. You, I can forgive for this. I can't forgive Demyx, though, and, I want to talk to you. I've pledged not to be as angry with him as I want to be, so I'm asking you do the same before I tell you what's happening." she said softly, Zexion could hear her angered edge, and knew that peace was not what this girl truly wanted, but peace would be the only legal way to resolve this.

"Of course..." Zexion muttered. "Zexion, and since we've spilled all this, you need... I know you're hiding something, and I need to know what it is." Demyx whispered in a broken voice. Zexion looked up, he was in tears already, and he looked to Lori. "Me and Demyx, while he was still cheating on us, had sex with me only once. That one time, he went uncovered because he didn't think just doing it once would possibly be able to hurt me. Well, Zexion. Demyx was wrong, I'm one month pregnant as of today." and Zexion's eyes overflowed with hot tears that cascaded down his cheeks in merciless torrents. Demyx felt a single tear roll down his own cheek, he couldn't let himself cry in front of them, he wanted that less than anything else. "I want to know if you want me to force him to pay child support, but stay with you, or have him stay with me and the baby and leave you, or just leave me. I know what you'll say, but I want to hear it." Lori said, her voice was less angry when she spoke to Zexion, they had been friends, and they met Demyx together, both falling in love, Lori jumping first, Zexion relapsing.

"I... I want him to stay with me. Since I told him how I felt he's been taking me each night, and I can't say sex with Demyx isn't absolutely amazing, because it is. He always blows my mind, he always makes it so wonderful and so intense... But then he leaves me, to be with you, and it hurts me, because I simply want him to stay and hold me, and make me feel loved. While he's inside of me, hitting in deep and driving me insane, he tells me how much he loves me. I want to feel that love, not the constant loneliness I'm used to... and I need money, so if you have him pay child support my and Roxas' bills won't be paid, I'm hardly able to contribute them on my own... We'll be on the streets and..."

Lori stopped him "Calm down. I understand, but... what we want to know, both me and Demyx are worried... What have you been doing, Demyx says your health is falling apart, and even if before he just told me he was worried for a friend, now I know... He's in love with you, and I know it better than anyone that seeing someone you love falling apart can injure the very soul. Tell us what's going on." and Zexion let out a strangled sob. "I-I've been slitting my wrists. He'll leave, and i'll do it.. I the tub... and once I get dizzy I stop the bleeding, and bleach the tub until it's white again..." he could hardly speak the next part, but they saw the pain in his eyes. "Is there more?" Demyx asked gently. "Y-yeah." Zexion whimpered. Demyx knew, he was in a very deep denial over it though.

Zexion, though, was unaware that Demyx knew what had happened. "I-I take O-oxycontin. Usually to numb myself so I can sleep dreamlessly and feel nothing." He choked on his tears "B-because... I want to be loved, not taken and left behind..." Lori looked like she had just taken a bullet to the heart as she watched Zexion crying, crying because her boyfriend, who had gotten her pregnant, was using Zexion. He must have been doing it for a long time, nothing could break someone in a small amount of time. It must have been through the entire relationship. "Zexion... I can easily... I'm not a bitch, I'm not a prude, I can find another guy to take care of the baby... But Zexion, you need Demyx, you've got no one else, do you." and Demyx moved to the other side of the booth, and put his arm around Zexion. "Demyx, just go. Be with Zexion, keep in touch if you want to." and Lori stood slowly, and left.

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This chapter needed to resolve the drama, I needed to get to some fluff, don't worry, there'll be drama soon ish again xD


	4. Chapter 4

Zemyx - Chasing Shadows

A/N: this is partially based off of an RP with a friend on DeviantART and it's a really deep story. I HAVE to do it in chapters, but I'll make them as long as I can. I thank you guys very much for reviews and faves, so If you like it please please review or fave..... or both. 8D i just feel so star struck when i see the e-mails

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Note: This is a flashback chapter.

Zexion slipped behind the school, needing a joint or a line. Whatever he could score with fifty dollars. He met with Riku. "Hey." Riku smirked, holding out a bag, it contained the white powder that Zexion's life was controlled by. He snatched it. "25 bucks, today. Need anything else? We've got the big H available. Lot better than this shit. Give me the money you have on you and I'll get you a few vials." Riku smirked. Zexion remember trying heroin and his spine arched just a little. "Oh, hell yes." He handed Riku back the crank and his money. "Alright... Kadaj's price is 10 for a vial... you'll get five." Zexion was shocked. That much? He'd be high for months with all that. Riku disappeared. When he returned he handed Zexion a bag. "There's your five vials. I got you a needle too. You;re going to need it. With your cutting I'm sure injections won't phase you." Zexion nodded. Riku showed him where the vein was. "Inject it there...." Riku muttered.

Zexion walked slowly away "Hey! I'm broke. I have 20 bucks on me, I'll give it to you if you give me one fucking injection. Not even full, I just need to get high, Zex...." Zexion was confused "Why don't you just go buy some with what you have?" he asked. "Kadaj won't sell to me. He sells to me so I can give it to my clients. He won't give it to me for me." Riku said. Zexion nodded. "Get your ass over here..." he filled the needle 1/3 of the way. "Oh, thanks Zex... That's really all I need...." He handed Zexion his money and seized the needle, burying it in his arm and pushing it in. He tilted his head back as he pulled it out and wiped it on his shirt.

Zexion handed the money back to Riku "Go get me more with this. I think I'm going to like heroin..."

Demyx came around the school then, coming back with Xigbar to hide from the teachers. When Demyx saw Zexion in drug alley behind the school, his hearts dropped into his stomach. He ran over. "Zexion...?" he asked. "Demyx?" Zexion gasped. "Dude, he's the biggest stoner in our school. He;s done every drug in the book, and you didn't know?" Xigbar said. "Little dude is loaded with the shit." Demyx sighed. He hugged Zexion. "At least he's not an alcoholic, like you..." Xigbar sighed. Demyx sighed. "Demyx.... Xigbar, get out of here." Xigbar left. "I do drugs because I need to escape my pain." Zexion whispered. "The pain that I can't just grow a pair and tell you I'm in fucking love with y--" Demyx crushed his lips against Zexion's at that moment.

Demyx scooped Zexion into his arms and carried him to the track shed. He sat Zexion on a table. "In love with me means willing to have sex with me right here. right now?" and Zexion nodded. Demyx stripped Zexion and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around him and pushed his togue into his mouth. Zexion squeezed his legs together as Demyx stripped himself too. When Zexion saw what was between Demyx's legs he felt a tremor in "places" He was so hot, it was almost painful. Demyx noticed the rolling of Zexion's hips and grabbed him. "Demyx!" Zexion gasped. _Is this a dream! Am I high! This must be a dream...._


	5. Chapter 5

Zemyx - Chasing Shadows

A/N: this is partially based off of an RP with a friend on DeviantART and it's a really deep story. I HAVE to do it in chapters, but I'll make them as long as I can. I thank you guys very much for reviews and faves, so If you like it please please review or fave..... or both. 8D i just feel so star struck when i see the e-mails

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"Yeah, Zexy. I remember." Demyx smiled. Zexion smiled. Demyx chuckled "That's how I found out you like it rough..." Demyx chuckled. "I like it much better slow and soft, but sometimes, being ravaged works wonders..." Zexion sighed lightly. Demyx held him close. "Zexy... I love you." Demyx said so sweetly. Zexion got up, rushing to the bathroom, he wasn't sad but his wrists itched to have the blade on them again. He stepped into the small bathroom. Demyx was slightly concerned. When Zexion came out he was just a tad paler and very shaky.

Zexion wrapped his bandaged arms around Demyx "I love you..." he whispered. "Let's go out today." Demyx smiled, kissing Zexion ever so softly. Zexion smiled "Where will we go?" he asked. Demyx chuckled "After we have a little... _fun _we'll go to the movies." that's when Zexion looked down and saw the bulge in Demyx's pants. "Oh, Demyx..." Zexion sighed. "To my room?" Zexion giggled, Demyx picked him up and walked slowly to his room, laying him on his bed. "We're going to try a new position...."

_"Let's try a new position, little dude." the perpetrator said. "It won't hurt, this time, you might even feel a little good." Zexion was too afraid to make him stop. He gasped as the man basically sat on his face, forcing his mouth open and pushing.... it... in. Zexion felt a blow to his chest "start sucking." and he did, when he did, the perpetrator bent forward and did the same to him. It was horrifying and Zexion wanted to cry the whole time, but he was too terrified._

"Oh God..." Zexion started crying. "What's wrong Zexion?" Demyx gasped, seeing his tears streaming down his face broke his heart. He didn't want sex anymore. Demyx kissed him. "What's wrong?" he asked. "I-I just... remembered... X-Xigbar... r-raping me..." and he coughed he cried so hard "a-a-and he f-forced.... me to.... s-si..." Demyx understood what Zexion meant. "He made you sixty nine with him?" Demyx asked. Zexion nodded, tears cascading down his face.

"Oh, Oh oh Zexy!" Demyx kissed him over and over and over again, comforting and loving him. He hated to see his lover cry. "Zexy.... Zexy Zexy..." Demyx sad over and over. Zexion sobbed as he clung to him. Demyx smiled "It's ok, Zexy. Don't worry. YOu'll be ok."

_"So, what exactly did he do to you? If you can't tell us, show us with these dolls." Zexion used them to describe lewd sex crimes. Xigbar was furious. Zexion started crying once he was done. He wished that he had someone with him. He was.... He was just so afraid. Zexion watched as they told results to sperm tests from inside his anal tract, matching Xigbar's. When the therapist walked over she grabbed Zexion's hand "You were very brave. He will never hurt you again." _

Zexion felt so much better. "Demyx..." he whispered. "Yes?" "Do you know how much I love you?"

_Zexion was sitting in the passenger seat of his boyfriend's car "Demyx, I'm only here for you." he said. "I know." Demyx said, squeezing his hand. "I'd rather not be around Xigbar, he fucking raped me.." Zexion said. The car came to a screeching halt. "You're kidding." Demyx said. "Xiggy would ne-- "" Yes... he would. Demyx. Please." Zexion said. "Zexy... Oh god..." Demyx said, turning around "I can't believe I'm friends with him!"_

Demyx held him. He held him so close. and when they both simply fell asleep, Zexion was in heaven. "Thank You."


	6. Chapter 6

Zemyx - Chasing Shadows

A/N: this is partially based off of an RP with a friend on DeviantART and it's a really deep story. I HAVE to do it in chapters, but I'll make them as long as I can. I thank you guys very much for reviews and faves, so If you like it please please review or fave..... or both. 8D i just feel so star struck when i see the e-mails

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When they woke up, all Zexion could do was cling to Demyx and cry "I love you!" and "I need you!" and "please, never let go" It was ragged and broken. Demyx kissed him over and over, holding him closer. When Zexion calmed down, Demyx smiled "How about we just have a nice relaxing day..."

_Zexion felt the flow of his blood being interrupted by needle and by blade. He moaned as the drug took affect, it felt wonderful. He laid back, wondering if anyone cared. "O-ohhh..." his cell phone rang moments after. HE answered with a slurred "Hello?" it was Demyx. "Hello... It's Demyx..." and Zexion choked. "Dem?" _

_"Yeah... are you ok?" He said, so concerned. "Yeah. I'm fine."_

Zexion smiled. "Demyx... I love you... Whatever it is you;re planning sounds great." Demyx softly carried Zexion to the bathroom. He sat the fragile boy on the toilet seat, softly removing his clothes, tracing his scars, smiling at him, and taking in his beautiful body. He, after that, filled the tub with water, the steam curling around in the room made it seem surreal to Zexion. He was excited. Demyx lifted Zexion, carefully placing him in the warm water. Zexion relaxed. "Ohh... that feels so good..." Zexion said, in a satisfied sigh. Demyx smiled. Zexion looked at him with something sparkling in his blue eyes that had Demyx hooked. Demyx's hand darted out and stroked Zexion's cheek. "Want to wash yourself? Or just relax..." Demyx asked. "Wash _me_?" Zexion giggled at him. "If you do it it'll be nicer!" he smiled. Demyx nodded. "Ok.." He softly grabbed a washcloth, he poured a small amount of vanilla scented soap on it, and took zexion's hand. Zexion blushed as Demyx massaged the soap onto his skin. He gasped lightly as he was removed from the water, and sat on the side of the tub, Demyx scrubbing his body in a way that just made him melt. He felt wonderful as Demyx returned him to the water. "Good?" demyx smiled. Zexion nodded, he looked so cozy. Demyx wanted to hold him more.

Demyx drained the water when Zexion started to look sleepy. He wrapped the adorable lover of his in towels, and carried him to the bedroom. He sat him on the bed, choosing a soft pair of silk pajamas, and a basically uniform pair of boxer shorts, and he carefully dressed Zexion. It was fairly late. "Let's go to sleep..." Demyx smiled, pulling off his shirt and pants. Zexion had already slipped under the covers, Demyx softly lifted the blankets and moved beneath them, Zexion was comfortably nestled into them. Demyx smiled and uncurled his lover. He drew him close to him and kissed him. "Demyx..." Zexion whispered. "Yes?" Demyx smiled, stroking Zexion's hair. "Can we do this more...? I feel so wonderful right now... I feel loved and beautiful..." he smiled. "Because you are, Zexy." Demyx said kindly. "Oh!" Zexion threw his arms around him, kissing him. Then he pulled away, yawning. "I'm tired..." Zexion looked really worn. Demyx nodded. "Sleep, then."


	7. Chapter 7

Zemyx - Chasing Shadows

A/N: this is partially based off of an RP with a friend on DeviantART and it's a really deep story. I HAVE to do it in chapters, but I'll make them as long as I can. I thank you guys very much for reviews and faves, so If you like it please please review or fave... or both. 8D i just feel so star struck when i see the e-mails

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Zexion sat down, staring at the things around him, he was in what looked like a hellish dream, but in white and tile... Wait... This was a psyciatric ward, noting even close to hell, or a dream. This was where Demyx had him placed after he found him OD and bleeding desperately. He wanted Zexion off of drugs. He'd been using since Middle School, this would be tough, he knew, but he wouldn't let Zexion throw his life away. He wouldn't let Zexion keep such a bad habit. He would never let Zexion hold onto something like that. Zexion looked over, his glassy eyes staring at the slowly opening door. _Be Demyx... Be Demyx..._ Zexion chanted in his head. _Shit. Therapist. You owe me ten bucks. _Was he really that insane? No wonder Demyx was so worried, he was off his fucking rocker.

The woman had sandy brown hair, and soft green eyes. "Hello, Zexion. How was your evening?" she asked, she had not been able to speak with him the day before, he'd had his door locked. She smiled gently. "Fine, I guess." he sighed, Demyx had been sick and didn't come for dinner and cuddle him before bed like he had been recently. "Missed Demyx, he called me and said he was sick... I was worried, so i just stayed here and texted him..." Zexion shrugged. "They allowed you your cell phone? Wow! I didn't think you'd get to level W so fast." she smiled. "I knew it would take you a while because you're so... sad, and you don't try that hard... no offense." she smiled. "None taken."

He sighed. "So, tell me what's part of your drug problem?" she asked. "Depends on what you mean by that" his voice was so passive. "What contributed to your starting, what drug came first?" she said calmly. "Well, I guess getting raped helped." he sighed "i started off with weed, moved on and up, meth, heroin, oxy, i tried out nicotine, but it sucked." he listed. "So you said you were raped, was there ever a legal case?" she asked. Zexion nodded "They gave me sex dolls to reenact and everything." Zexion spat is words with venom, the subject was touchy and pissed him off.

The therapist understood. "Do you want to be left alone?" she asked, "Yes, I would also like some pills, but i can't really get that, now can i." Zexion sighed softly.

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Sorry it's so short, i needed an update desperately!


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